There is beauty everywhere if we only open our eyes to it

It is such an exciting time of year!  From torrential rainfall, to being snowed in, to discovering opening buds in the sunshine, we are getting it all.  

And whatever nature has to offer at any given moment - it's all beautiful.  Even a frozen raindrop can be source of great beauty and joy.  

I love what Dr. Tae Yun Kim has to say about such things.  As you know, she grew up in horrible circumstances, not only poor but also very much abused.  All she had was nature and the choice to appreciate rather than be depressed.  But you can read about that here.  

Here are her words which can always apply in your life one way or another.  

"Appreciation and gratitude are ways of acknowledging that something is present and real  When you acknowledge and appreciate beauty, you are making it real in your world.  And making beauty real in your world is another way of taking charge of your life.  Because you can see beauty everywhere, let this perception set you free from being a victim of self-imposed ugliness, gloom and depression."

(The Silent Master, page 154)

So let us celebrate every living breath as if it was our last breath!

The importance of taking pictures

Today's thoughts are a continuation of yesterday's - about living in the present moment.  Life is really a series of present moments.  And while no moment will ever come back once it's gone, we can certainly preserve that moment, with pictures and videos, and even in the olden days people tried to preserve moments through paintings and carvings or whatever means they had available.

I never really thought about this much but after re-reading one of Dr. Tae Yun Kim's books, "The First Elements," it clicked.  Let me share the quote with you:

" During a recent natural disaster, sometimes people had only a few minutes notice to get out of their home.  What do you think was one of the most common items people made sure to escape with?  Not the silver, not the jewelry, but photos!  Memories - irreplaceable pictures of moments of joy, moments of love, of victory, togetherness and so on.  How incredible that those intangible memories of moments were so highly prized.  Those people recognized that their joy could last forever, but that ordinary material possessions could go up in smoke or swept away in floods or buried in earthquakes in a few seconds time."
(The First Element page 32)

Also, moments that we think we'll always remember, can and will fade away, but with the help of pictures we'll be able to remember much more than what you see in the picture!  Ever looked through an old photo album and started to giggle, "oh I remember when aunt so and so got married...and we did.....?

Of course, nowadays the majority of pictures live in the mysterious cloud, just remember to print your most important moments and have something tangible just in case the unspeakable were to ever happen.

Happy picture taking and remembering!

The power of music

Ludwig van Beethoven used to love to walk through nature and get great inspiration and consolation from it

Dr. Tae Yun Kim often talks about the power of music, how the vibrations of music can influence us for better or worse.  It all depends on who wrote the music, who performs it and what state of mind they were in.

On the way to work this morning, I did something I usually don't do.  I listened to music.  Typically I enjoy the peace and quiet of the car ride, taking in the sights along the way, like hawks, a sunrise, clouds, the river and so much more.

Today though I felt like listening to music, and it so happened that Beethoven's 9th Symphony came on.  I have always liked Beethovens music, but particulary after Dr. Tae Yun Kim pointed out that he wrote - and directed! - most of his works after he was deaf.  He was completely deaf when he composed his 9th Symphony, and it is a very intricate, long, and amazing piece of music, written by a genius.

Dr. Tae Yun Kim also pointed out that Ludwig van Beethoven's life was full of struggle and hardships.  As a young child, he suffered great abuse at the hands of his father, was ridiculed in school for his dyslexia. And even though he went through periods of great depression, he never thought of taking his life, because he felt he had to work harder and faster to get all the music out into the world that was still inside him.

So when I listened to Beethoven's ultimate Masterpiece, I had tears of joy coming down - joy for this music to be born into this world by a master who wouldn't give up.

And joy for Dr. Tae Yun Kim, who's life has also been full of trouble and hardship, and yet she is still giving so much joy and happiness to the world through her work, through books, TV shows and so many other ways.

Please do yourself a favor and listen to Ludwig van Beethoven's beautiful work - I promise you won't regret it!  And once I figure out how to insert or link to this music, I will gladly share here!

Jung SuWon Testing at its best!

Well, we had the most exciting testing at Jung Suwon last week, and I love testings! Why? Because they always stretch my mind to its limit, whether I am officially testing or not. I am sitting at the edge of my seat, and again, it doesn't matter who is testing, whether a tiny tot white belt or some advanced belt, each person is tested to their limits. This excites and energizes me. Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim has always something new going on at testings, and no two testings are ever the same!

But, for more details - stay in tune. I don't want to write about it before I have the video to go with it. Just wanted to let you know - good stuff is coming. So hang in there and come back tomorrow! Thanks for your patience!

In honor of 9-11-2001

Even I am a day late, I cannot just ignore this day. I want to pay respect to the wonderful, beautiful country of ours, and to all the people that have made it the great nation that it is. I want to thank everyone who stood up to the terrorists that day, from the President to every person who started to fly a flag to show they are ready to fight terror.

I remember the day it happened so well. I got a phone call in the early morning from Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim - she had already watched it happen and shared the news with us and suggested I turn on the TV and watch. I remember the horror of the day unfold.

And yet, amidst all the reports coming in and amidst death, destruction and despair, a new energy started to emerge. A spirit of togetherness, of unity, of something uniquely American. There was pride in being a US citizen. There was pride in our country.

That night, we had a very special class at Jung SuWon. Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim gathered us together and talked about what happened. Each person got a chance to express their feelings and deal with their emotions. Some of our students had relatives in New York and had just faced incredible losses. And yet, through meditation and prayer, a new peace started to develop - a very fragile inner peace, that would give rise to new hope. There were heart felt tears, there was outrage, there was anger, just about all emotions were there....each person dealt with their feelings differently. And yet each person had their chance to express and share.

The class ended with a beautiful candle ceremony, led by Grandmaster Kim, with each student lighting a candle in honor of all those that had suffered so much that day, whether victim or rescuer... With lit candle in our hands, we formed a circle and meditated. It was a beautiful expression of how we all felt.

Celebrate Life!

Today I would like to take a minute and write about my mother. She passed away August 31st, 2006. She was healthy, happy and full of life! She was one of those rare people that can always find the positive in any situation.

Her passing was completely unexpected. She was gone from one moment to the next, just as she had always hoped it would happen. She was kind, compassionate, and helpful. She loved to cook and made the best meals she could, even when we were so poor we only had bread..she found a way to make it "new" every day..... She was an awsome mother, a wonderful grandmother, and an all around great person. Even after she retired from her business, she couldn't sit still and started volunteer work with the mentally retarded. She even received an award from the President of Austria for her work with the mentally challenged people!

I was shocked when I got the news that she was gone. It was hard to swallow. It was hard to digest the fact that this person, so bursting with gusto for life, was now gone. But Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim really helped me get through this. Yes, of course I had my family to fall back on and we encouraged each other, but sometimes it is very helpful to have someone that is not directly involved with the pain that goes along with this sort of thing. I resorted to reading her book, "The Silent Master" and found a much needed peace of mind and heart.

"We do not have the feeling from day to day that eventually we are going to die, or that our time here is limited. We don't live from moment to moment with the awareness that we could die at anytime. Even if we ask a question like, "Am I were I want to be?" its all too easy to reply "Well, I'll get there some day," and drop the matter right there. We tend to put off the fulfillment of our real goals to "when I retire," or, "when the kids are out of the house," or "when I have time."

"Someday" is never going to come. The only time there is, is now. When "someday" comes, it will be now. So what you think and do right now is what will happen on the mythical "someday."

Unfortunately, death seems to mysterious, baffling, horrible, and final that we don't want to consider it in our daily lives. But we must have the courage to look squarely at the limited time frame death gives us, and act accordingly. You don't know when death will come. The "someday" you wait for may never come, simply because you won't be here to experience it!

Of course, in reality what is really you will never die. Your Silent Master consciousness is eternal; only your manifestations - including your present body and life - come and go from your consciousness. So we're talking now about the death of your physical manifestation, and not of your eternal true self.

I am at peace. I know my mom is too.

Jung SuWon Video

I think by now you are getting the idea: Jung SuWon training is nothing what you ever expect. Just when you think you got it all figured out - you realize you just don't!

We were preparing to participate in a regional tournament. Now we don't usually go to tournaments because they have deteriorated so much, and made political events out of a very ancient Martial Arts form. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying people shouldn't participate - I am just saying, we usually don't.

During that preparation time, we also had a demo at a local high school. It was a very large school, and we had several demos scheduled during the day. Late in the afternoon, I was a bit careless and while breaking a couple of cinderblocks with an axe kick, I slashed open my heel, blood everywhere. I ended up with stitches in my heel and doctors telling me I wasn't supposed to walk much, let alone train.

No good! The tournament was in 3 days, and I am grounded? So I was going to just wing it and participate anyhow.

But Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim wouldn't have any of that. No, she had an entirely different plan for me. Grab the video camera and film! Now I had never filmed anything in my entire life, nor had I even held a camera before. I knew nothing, not even how to turn this thing on! Well, ok, so I asked, what about doing the forms? I agred to film the sparring, but what about forms? Expecting that Grandmaster Kim would say I could do at least compete in forms. But, she just calmly replied, "You can film those too."

You can imagine that the remaining days I spent every minute I had with the camera and trying to learn what to do and how to do it....

Martial Arts is a whole lot more than punching and kicking....it's all about living life to the fullest!

Obstacle course a la Jung SuWon, or, conquer your fears and weaknesses!

Re-reading my previous post I realize that I haven't really told you much, especially about that obstacle course. Well, it was one even the army wouldn't have minded to have, I am sure!

It started out innocently enough, with kicking and punching bags hung from nice redwood trees. You could almost pretend like you were right at home at the Jung SuWon Do Jang! It slowly increased in intensity - but when you first started the course, you couldn't see the tough part, only the nice, inviting bags....so with gusto I started out....

...until I stared at the rope suspended from another Redwood tree, and - watching the people before me, I realized I was supposed to grab the rope, run, and swing over a tree stump. Not!

I stood there, sweating, considering, thinking - but there was no time for that since others lined up behind me and urged me to go. With a resounding "He Can Do, She Can Do, Why Not Me!" I was gently propelled towards the rope, that an ever so helpful instructor held out to me....so I grabbed the rope and started running...I was way scared, but did jump - well, sort of, I bypassed the stump but did jump up in the air and was flying for a little bit

Ok, so with that out of the way, I ran along the course and saw the tires...a LOT of tires! Looking ahead, I saw people hopping through them, you had to step into each of them, ok, at least nothing too scary with this and I started - thank goodness everyone behind me was very patient because it seemed I was in those tires forever, hopping around like a chicken without a head! I fell a few times too, but so what!

Next thing I remember (and I am sure I forgot some stations of this course) was a set of balance beams, starting with one low to the ground, and the next one higher and so forth, you had to walk along each of them and then step onto the next higher. So far, so good. I started out and it wasn't so bad. The next one was ok too, but then it started to get serious for me.

Funny how the mind works. The balance beams were all the exact same width and length. Exactly! However, the higher up they were, the narrower they seemed, and the longer! All of a sudden I kept loosing my balance, got wobbly and got very scared.

But Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim had the solution. Instead of letting me come down - no way! She simply extended the end of her bamboo stick to me, to "hold on" to. Now if I had seriously started falling, that stick could of course not have held me up. However, it provided the mental railing I needed and with holding on to that small point, I was able to complete this task.

After jumping off the last beam, I found myself face to face with a tall wall, that I hadn't seen yet - I was so absorbed in what I was doing that I hadn't paid attention to that high wall looming ever so high and unapproachable.



I simply didn't want to even try this. It was just too high! I don't know if it was 10 feet tall or more, it was TOO HIGH! Didn't anyone realize that? I just stood there looking for a way out and this time, seriously for a way out. I stepped to the side a little and for a few minutes I was allowed the illusion of actually getting out of climbing the wall, while others passed by me and did the climbing - or the attempting.

Watching others climb made me even more scared and I was relieved I was just able to stand off to the side. I was hoping I could turn into a tree and just blend into the forest. But, Grandmaster Kim had a different plan for me.

Of course she had not forgotten about me, nor was going to just let me "weasel out." She had everyone stop and then asked me to climb. Oh no! Not that! Not only climbing the wall, but with everyone watching? I must be having a nightmare!

I was standing there in a daze, but someone moved me somehow closer to the wall and put the rope into my hands, the rope that was supposed to help me over the wall. I looked up and it seemed the wall was melting into the sky, it was so high! I was so scared I wanted to run off and cry. But all around me there was a circle of people, smiling so nicely and everyone telling me I could do it.

With so much positive energy around me, how could I resist? Well, at least I could try - I was already convinced I couldn't do it, so at least I could give it a good try, right? I grabbed the rope and started, half heartedly. Of course I kept plunking right back down. I looked around for a possibility to "escape" this, but not a chance. I got the idea that I was actually expected to make it to the top! Nobody was physically or mentally forcing me, just everybody was smiling and happy and really wanting me to make it! All of a sudden I felt pumped up and thought, well maybe there is a chance...and with gusto this time I grabbed the rope and "rope-walked" the wall. After a few more tries I got close to the top, but now what! How do I get over the top? Somehow an instructor appeared seemingly out of nowhere and reached over, grabbed me by the belt and helped me over the top.

Whow, what a feeling! I was so happy I was crying. It wasn't the wall, it wasn't that I was standing however many feet up in the air cheering and clapping like mad, it was the fact that I was sooooo convinced I couldn't do it and yet, Grandmaster Kim showed me, yes, I could do it! And everyone with their clapping and cheering and yelling and even screaming almost carried me up that wall.

To me that wall became a symbol in my life. That whenever something seems just too impossible to get done, I remember, yes, it can be done!

Jung SuWon "camping" - the infamous obstacle course

One of the things we did you'll have seen in the video from a couple of postings ago. Yes, a real outdoor obstacle course, one even the Army would have been proud of!

It included all sorts of items and "things", most of which I would have put into the category of turture instruments, but I did grow to love it - the thrill of it, the feeling of accomplishing something so utterly unimaginable to me.

Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim, of course, wanted to show us our potential. She explained that each of us already has all the potential we'll ever need and that her job is to show us a bit of that potential. So even though I was scared out of my mind, and didn't think I could do any of the Obstacle course exercises....after a round or two, yes, I was doing it.

After that, we all sat down around the camp fire and expressed. Grandmaster started by saying....see what you did today! If you can do that, you can do anything you set your mind to!

Jung SuWon Style camping aka Self Discovery weekend, part 3

After this wonderful and big meal, we were sent to our tents for some rest. Some people that were still attached to civilization, asked for a place to shower or brush teeth, etc.
We got a cup of water from a jar for brushing teeth, and were pointed towards a little stream if we wanted to wash up. No RVs here!!!

By now I didn't have any more expectations as to what would or should happen. I simply had no idea from moment to moment, what was going to happen.

After all that much activity, I slept deeply and well....until I awoke to the sound of the gong! Yes, a beautiful, harmonious sound...I got the idea that now was the time to get up. I stuck my head out of my tent, for once not worried about how I looked, how frizzy my hair was or if I still had sleepy seeds in my eyes.

I figured if they wanted us to rough it, then for sure they wouldn't mind my "rough" look!

We were directed to do a basic morning cleanup - yes, again a trip down to the stream, to the water jug, and one in the great yonder with the shovel...then we were asked to put on our Martial Arts Uniforms and assemble.

Grandmaster Kim appeared, almost out of nowhere. Now I tried to not think too much about anything but be open for whatever comes my way, but how on earth could she look so beautiful, so put together after "camping out" like this?

She welcomed us with a big smile and explained about living in natue, feeling part of nature, being connected to our environment. It was fabulous, a magic moment. Forgotten were all my worries, stresses, concerns. Sitting in the middle of a forest, smelling nature and hearing birds sing, hear the wind go through the trees, and listening to Grandmaster Kim....soon I was in another world.

Then - time for getting physical! After some warmp ups it was time for a rigorous Martial Arts workout, right there in the woods!

And for the rest of the story - come back tomorrow!

Jung Su Won training - Self Discover Weekends!

Ah yes, those wonderful times, when we went out to some place in the wilderness and trained like we imagined it might have been for the ancient warriors!

Well, this being more modern times, we did have each our own individual tents, and some other small remnants of civilization with us, but for the most part, it was pretty much "roughing it", at least on those original ones...what wonderful memories! We did not keep any watches on us, or cell phones, or pagers. No flashlights, battery operated anything.

We would arrive on Friday night, leaving right after work, and drive for several hours, and then pitch our tents. Then sitting around a campfire...Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim would introduce us to this strange new world...

I will never forget my first Self Discovery weekend - I was barely a purple belt and still so new to a lot of Martial Arts. I asked an instructors where the bathrooms were.

And what do you think I was told? Nothing! I was simply handed a shovel, with a roll of toiled paper stuck on top of it...

More of this tomorrow

Jung SuWon Training: we are always testing....

See, that's the exciting thing about training at Jung SuWon: you might think testing only happens on certain days, when the nice program booklets are printed out, and we've had a lot of time to practice...and we usually find out weeks in advance, somtimes months, when such testings happen.

However, Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim explained that those testings are but a formality, and while important, the real testing happens each and every day - through our attitude, how we deal with unexpected situations, and so on.

One time, and I believe I was merely an orange belt, we were doing a Martial Arts demonstration at a local school. Back at that time, we never praciced any routines for those demos. Grandmaster would call up students and have them perform things on the spot. I felt relatively "safe" since I was only an orange belt, and what could I show anyhow?

I couldn't have been more wrong. After some bong sparring, multiple partner sparring and breakings performed by our instructors, I found myself being called up with some other relative newbees.

From safe and smug, I was now in the spotlight, right in front of a nice cinderblock, which I was supposed to break. Everyone else in this group broke their boards or bricks just fine, except me. I couldn't focus, was scared, and just was nervous like never before.

So, you would think - this being a demo - Grandmaster would let me just get off the hook and go home, right?

Wrong!

Training at Jung SuWon isn't about performance, although that does have its place. It is about improving yourself, getting to know yourself, finding trust in yourself, and a whole lot more.

So instead of allowing me to give up, Grandmaster - after the offical part of the demo was over and some of the spectators had already left, called me back up to the cinderblock, and said, "well, since you cannot break this one cinderblock, seems to me you need a bigger challenge, and instantly another cinderblock was placed on top of the first one!

I went from fear to panic. There was no getting away from this! And of course, a bunch of curious bystanders gathered quickly around to see what was going on!

Now what!

Anyhow, Grandmaster whispered to me with her big, invincible smile, "I know you can do this! Now go do it!"

Next thing I knew, those cinderblocks broke under a cloud of dust!

Sometimes we need this extra push, and the extra love in our life. Even though we might be perfectly capable of doing something, if we don't believe we can do it, it won't happen. And it helps to have someone at our side, once in a while, to show us that yes, we CAN indeed do it!!!

Jung SuWon Training: testing time!

Like I said in my previous post, testings are are highly unpredictable. You can just never tell what you'll end up doing.

I remember another testing, I believe I was testing for my redbelt.
Before anything got even started, I heard Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim call my name. I responded almost automatically and ran up, attention bowed, and stood at attention, ready for anything - or so I thought.

Next words I heard, "Sing the National Anthem".
Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of my huge big fears was singing in public, or even singing at all. I don't like how I sound when I sing, I have a squeaky, hollow voice...and...and...and I just was scared to death to sing in front of anyone, even myself, in the mirror!

So now, I was supposed to sing in front of all these people?

Some helpful soul came running up to me with a microphone..this was getting serious. I had beads of sweat on my forehead and everywhere else, and was shaking. Did Grandmaster really mean it? I mean, she really wanted me to sing?

Yes! She kept looking straight at me, with a big smile, and expectantly. I thought I was going to pass out right there.

But instead, the incredible thing happened. All of a sudden my mind quieted down. In fact, my mind seemed to just go in the background, and let my internal energy take over. All the time I had spent meditating, all the times I had told myself "He Can Do, She Can Do, Why Not Me!" were now showing results.

Before I knew it, I was singing the anthem (it had taken me about 3 weeks to memorize the words, but yes, I did do it!) and I didn't really realize what just happened until after it was all done and I heard applause....

Jung Su Won training: the impossible is possible!

( This is not me in the picture, nor is it my picture, but I thought it would make for great illustration).

I was just told that all I am posting is 20 plus years old, and that has actually been true so far. But I felt like I can't just tell you about me and my training without giving you a little background first.

Maybe this background is getting a bit too long?

Anyhow, I'll jump forward in time a little bit, to the time in California, and will dwell on one of my most memorable testings at Jung SuWon.

You see, I have always been very afraid of heights. As in, VEEEERY! Even stepping on a short step ladder would bring beads of sweat to my forehead.

Even I was a proud blue belt at the time, and was testing for my brown belt, I was not prepared for what was to come. The thing is, testings at Jung SuWon are just not predictable. There are very few "set rules" at a testing. Sure, you need to know your forms, you need to do some breaking (although you may not end up doing what you were planning to do) and its a good bet that there is some sparring involved. Beyond that, well, just be mentally ready for whatever.

So I was done with all the forms, sparring and breaking and I thought I was pretty much all done. Not so. Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim asked some senior belts to lower the ropes. At the time, we had ropes suspended from the ceiling, and they were connected with each other via a rope across the ceiling. The goal being to climb up one rope, shimmy across and come down on the other rope.

I had until then never been able to do this, and from my first attempts it didn't look like I would do it that day either. I gave it a few half hearted tries and was ready to write it off as "I am too heavy" (I wasn't), or "I am too old" or "I am too clumsy" or whatever.

After several attempts Grandmaster took me into her office - stopping the testing - and sat me down. She said, "I know this is hard for you. But I also know you can do it. If you can do this today, you can do anything you set your mind to. Now lets go out and do it!"

The rest I don't remember too clearly, but I am told that I marched out of the office, and with new determination approached the rope, climbed up, went across and came down, to the thunderous applause of everyone. At the bottom of the rope Grandmaster Kim was waiting for me, with a big hug.

I will never forget this proud moment!

Jung SuWon Training: a very unusual Christmas party

Since I started training in late fall, I was invited to the Jung SuWon Christmas party.

At first of course I wasn't going to go at all. I was too shy and I didn't like parties. And I hardly knew anyone there yet, and after all, I went there to work out and learn martial arts, not go to parties...I had any number of excuses as to why not go to the party.

But Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim was so, well, inviting, that I simply couldn't resist. Her beautiful smile, encouraging words, well at least I was willing to give it a try and besides, I could always go home if I had enough, right?

It was a potluck, so I offered to make dessert (desserts are my specialty and I am going to start a blog on that subject soon). The occasion being a Christmas Party, I was going to make a gingerbread house. I spent 3 days making it, painstakingly, with candy glass windows, and leaving my kitchen a sticky mess :)

Anyhow, at first I felt so awkward at that party, and was going to go straight home, but it turned out fun, exciting, and entertaining and before I knew it I had a lot of fun and was part of the group.

We had a nice dinner and people shared why they made the food they did and I don't remember all the details, but everyone liked the dessert and Grandmaster made some nice comments and praised me...something I so much needed at the time. People were doing all kinds of performances, singing songs, some skits, and it was all very nice.

I started to realize that Martial Arts wasn't just a good workout, it could actually be a way of life...if I was ready to go for it....

Jung SuWon training - one step at a time

So, one day, after Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim's prompting, I felt somewhat ready to join in the regular Jung SuWon class.

Was I ever scared! I felt so out of place! I couldn't keep up with the class and felt like everyone was staring at me and making fun of me. Of course, no such thing! Everyone was very nice to me and besides, everyone was way too busy participating in class to watch what I was doing!

So I stumbled along, halfway embarrassed, halfway starting to enjoy it....the energy was so catching that before class was over, without realizing it, I had a lot of fun, it was exciting, and I was glad I went!

However, one more hurdle I hadn't counted on....at the end of class, everyone was shouting it out ...HE CAN DO, SHE CAN DO, WHY NOT ME! And even though this motto had carried me through very tough times the past couple of months, I still couldn't do it in class....shyness took over and I just stood there, mumbling a very quiet he can do she can do why not me....hoping nobody would notice me...

To my utter surprise, after class, Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim told me I did a great job and encouraged me to come to class again...and other students walked up to me, welcomed me....I felt very warm, welcome, and downright good.

I was hooked.

Jung Su Won: my very first classes at Jung SuWon

Ah yes, my first classes at Jung SuWon! Did I mention I was to shy to even participate in a regular Martial Arts class? It's true! I was not going to do it!

However, Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim helped ease me into it and let me start taking private classes at first. What a relief! At least I could feel clumsy, uncoordinated, shy, awkward, and simply just strange, and not have to worry about other people's reactions.

So for the first couple of months of my training at Jung SuWon, I came only once a week, for a private class. I was kind of intrigued by class, but yet way too scared to join. So I would practice at home during the week what I learned on Saturdays, but simply couldn't see myself joining class.

...You should see me in class now....

Jung SuWon training: determination

I have to add that I re-discovered a whole lot of determination. In order for me to be able to go to Jung SuWon class, I had to find a babysitter first, pick up the sitter or drop the kids off at the place, and then go to Jung SuWon. Well, think about a cold Vermont winter, snowstorms, etc. But somehow, when class time rolled around, I went out to pick up the sitter (she didn't have a drivers license yet), or, took the kids to drop them off.

I remember one time in particular, it was almost blizzard conditions and I couldn't see the street too well. But out I went, praying all the time, saying to myself, I can do this! I so much desired to go to class and learn from a real Master, that nothing could hold me back. Was I scared? Sure I was! But I didn't let that hold me back - not anymore! Armed with Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim's motto: "He Can Do, She Can Do, Why Not Me!" I made it through just about any challenging situation.

No, it wasn't a complete white out of course. But for me, who had just recently gotten my drivers license myself, it was quite the challenge. And the feeling of pride, of accomplishment, was very very sweet.

Every little success boosted my spirit....

Next time, I'll share more about my very first Jung SuWon classes...I just realized I missed that part....

Jung SuWon Training applied in everyday life

At the time I started training at Jung SuWon, I was living way out in the country in Vermont. So way out that the mail man didn't bring mail to the house, but to a cluster of mailboxes at the turnoff from the country road. It just so happened that the people living in the house across the mail box owned a very big dog that would always come running out after me when I went to get the mail, and was snapping at me and sometimes even nipping me.

So - being too fearful and shy to call the neighbors to control their dog, I began to avoid the mailbox altogether and asked other people if they could please pick up the mail for me.

After a couple of months of training, after having attained just a little glimpse of confidence, I dared walk to the mail box again. This time I had a plan. Sure enough, the dog came charging after me, barking louder than ever and looking very scarey with all those teeth!

However, this time, I dropped into a cat stance and let out the loudest ki up I had ever produced! I was determined that this dog would from now on respect me and leave me alone.

To my complete and utter amazement, the dog stopped immediately, and walked away. From then on we were best friends!

Yes, it does seem like such a small thing, but to me, this was everything - it showed me that yes, I could change! I didn't have to accept everything as it came, but that I can fight back and do things my way!

Always new things at Jung SuWon

And yes, for the record, after a few weeks I was also able to do the one armed push ups!

Great Grandmaster Kim always reminded us in class that we shouldn't just stop there -whatever we learn in the Do Jang, we should take with us and practice in our every day life.

Well at first that made little sense to me. I mean, who am I going to punch and kick, right? But then I started to think a little bit below the surface and realized that it was my attitude I need to carry with me wherever I go, that I need to have the "Can Do!" attitude always. Not just in the Do Jang.

That wasn't easy either. It's so much easier with your teacher right there, encouraging you every step of the way. But without that, at home, wherever you go, that wasn't so easy.

I was very very shy and even making a simple phone call was a big deal for me. But, again, what did I have to lose? I started experimenting with this concept and it was amazing what I found myself doing....