Re-reading my previous post I realize that I haven't really told you much, especially about that obstacle course. Well, it was one even the army wouldn't have minded to have, I am sure!
It started out innocently enough, with kicking and punching bags hung from nice redwood trees. You could almost pretend like you were right at home at the Jung SuWon Do Jang! It slowly increased in intensity - but when you first started the course, you couldn't see the tough part, only the nice, inviting bags....so with gusto I started out....
...until I stared at the rope suspended from another Redwood tree, and - watching the people before me, I realized I was supposed to grab the rope, run, and swing over a tree stump. Not!
I stood there, sweating, considering, thinking - but there was no time for that since others lined up behind me and urged me to go. With a resounding "He Can Do, She Can Do, Why Not Me!" I was gently propelled towards the rope, that an ever so helpful instructor held out to me....so I grabbed the rope and started running...I was way scared, but did jump - well, sort of, I bypassed the stump but did jump up in the air and was flying for a little bit
Ok, so with that out of the way, I ran along the course and saw the tires...a LOT of tires! Looking ahead, I saw people hopping through them, you had to step into each of them, ok, at least nothing too scary with this and I started - thank goodness everyone behind me was very patient because it seemed I was in those tires forever, hopping around like a chicken without a head! I fell a few times too, but so what!
Next thing I remember (and I am sure I forgot some stations of this course) was a set of balance beams, starting with one low to the ground, and the next one higher and so forth, you had to walk along each of them and then step onto the next higher. So far, so good. I started out and it wasn't so bad. The next one was ok too, but then it started to get serious for me.
Funny how the mind works. The balance beams were all the exact same width and length. Exactly! However, the higher up they were, the narrower they seemed, and the longer! All of a sudden I kept loosing my balance, got wobbly and got very scared.
But Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim had the solution. Instead of letting me come down - no way! She simply extended the end of her bamboo stick to me, to "hold on" to. Now if I had seriously started falling, that stick could of course not have held me up. However, it provided the mental railing I needed and with holding on to that small point, I was able to complete this task.
After jumping off the last beam, I found myself face to face with a tall wall, that I hadn't seen yet - I was so absorbed in what I was doing that I hadn't paid attention to that high wall looming ever so high and unapproachable.
I simply didn't want to even try this. It was just too high! I don't know if it was 10 feet tall or more, it was TOO HIGH! Didn't anyone realize that? I just stood there looking for a way out and this time, seriously for a way out. I stepped to the side a little and for a few minutes I was allowed the illusion of actually getting out of climbing the wall, while others passed by me and did the climbing - or the attempting.
Watching others climb made me even more scared and I was relieved I was just able to stand off to the side. I was hoping I could turn into a tree and just blend into the forest. But, Grandmaster Kim had a different plan for me.
Of course she had not forgotten about me, nor was going to just let me "weasel out." She had everyone stop and then asked me to climb. Oh no! Not that! Not only climbing the wall, but with everyone watching? I must be having a nightmare!
I was standing there in a daze, but someone moved me somehow closer to the wall and put the rope into my hands, the rope that was supposed to help me over the wall. I looked up and it seemed the wall was melting into the sky, it was so high! I was so scared I wanted to run off and cry. But all around me there was a circle of people, smiling so nicely and everyone telling me I could do it.
With so much positive energy around me, how could I resist? Well, at least I could try - I was already convinced I couldn't do it, so at least I could give it a good try, right? I grabbed the rope and started, half heartedly. Of course I kept plunking right back down. I looked around for a possibility to "escape" this, but not a chance. I got the idea that I was actually expected to make it to the top! Nobody was physically or mentally forcing me, just everybody was smiling and happy and really wanting me to make it! All of a sudden I felt pumped up and thought, well maybe there is a chance...and with gusto this time I grabbed the rope and "rope-walked" the wall. After a few more tries I got close to the top, but now what! How do I get over the top? Somehow an instructor appeared seemingly out of nowhere and reached over, grabbed me by the belt and helped me over the top.
Whow, what a feeling! I was so happy I was crying. It wasn't the wall, it wasn't that I was standing however many feet up in the air cheering and clapping like mad, it was the fact that I was sooooo convinced I couldn't do it and yet, Grandmaster Kim showed me, yes, I could do it! And everyone with their clapping and cheering and yelling and even screaming almost carried me up that wall.
To me that wall became a symbol in my life. That whenever something seems just too impossible to get done, I remember, yes, it can be done!
You Are Creative Energy
4 years ago
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